The Negative Correlation of Attractiveness, Money, and Women
You must pick up lots of girls with that car.
… bet lots of women look at you. You look hot in that car.
You could get any girl you want.
You’re a sweetheart, why are you still single?
… bet you have girls crawling all over you with that body of yours.
One day you’re going to make a woman very happy.
I have been told I’m a good looking guy, drive nice cars, make good money, am funny, bright, sweet, and entertaining, and have a good future ahead of me. Often I’m questioned why I am still single.
Nevertheless the reality is very different. The work I do and the personality I’ve developed in order to get to where I am, has made me in fact, more lonely than most people, and churn through more women than most.
Alberta’s oilfield has brought me towards all corners of the province: all the way an hour south of Calgary- southwest and southeast, to about 150km from the Northwest Territories around the Rainbow Lake and northwest of High Level areas, and 2 hours northeast of Fort McMurray. Sometimes I’m gone for several weeks at once, not knowing when I’ll go home. Sometimes I am sent to Saskatchewan with only an hour’s notice. Being far away from home for extended periods of time with very irregular, unplanable-around schedules, has made it emotionally difficult to maintain relationships when the women do not know when they will be again, if ever. Trust issues are grown from physical and emotional distance. Alberta is a trades province with an abundance of lonely men; in the time I’m gone, there are ample opportunities for women to find other men to satisfy their needs when I am not there to do so.
The rigour in construction, trades, and oilfield work, and the stress incurred to advance my standing on the social/career ladder- especially the long hours, sometimes in excess of 15 hours a day, bring upon great emotional and physical stress. Sometimes this stress is then transferred to relationships, and then difficulties in such are only amplified. Normally little nuisances turn into major differences. Normally trivial arguments explode into angry fights. Normal hours of relief social separation turn into indefinite ends to relations.
There is the change in character required to rapidly advance the career and position on the social ladder. The blunt, businessperson, to-the-point crude mentality required to achieve goals, roughens attitude. Soft words turn into sharp, jarring ones. Harmless critiques turn into painful scolds. Normally acceptable “take it slow” dating mentality turns into “don’t waste my time” mentality. Quickly forgotten not-replied-to messages and phone calls turn into insulting ignorances suggestive of infidelity or lost of interest. Wants are turned into aggressive objectives. You become more aggressive and put up with less bullshit.
A lot of time, money, blood, sweat, and tears, which are correlated, are spent to look good, and on personal development. That is less time and money for dating and love. Time and money spent on communication, dates, and gifts are diverted to cars, beauty and other physical enhancements, rigorous fitness training, supplements, highly-nutritious food and respective careful diets, education, self-employment and employment expenses, and investments. Time and money spent to look your best attracts women, but you won’t have time for the women. Blood, sweat, and tears enhance character; character brings women, but you won’t have blood, sweat, and tears left for the women.
Money and attractiveness catch women, but often will not keep women.
If you want a beautiful woman, you will pay for a beautiful woman.
If you want a successful man, you put up with a busy man.
Finally, some women are just illogical. Doesn’t matter how well you’re doing, how good you look, or how great of a guy you are- some only want a loser who can’t find any better. Like employers who just want people who are just grateful to have a job, can’t find better, and hence can’t leave, some women just want someone who is just grateful to have something, can’t find better, and can’t leave. Like the financial market, some people just make stupid decisions.