The Profit in Irrational Love
A good childhood friend of mine didn’t move in together with his Miss until almost 5 years later. They wanted to ensure their relationship and careers were strong first, and that they knew each other well. Afterwards if they do butt heads then they see their bond as more of an incentive to remain together when they butt heads while living together.
Nowadays where a lot of people look for somebody they “click with” within a week or month – who has no future and also turns out to be a toxic person. Such people neglect someone who does have his/her life together. Then they move in together, and then at some point it all goes south from there.
Banks know this well in their experience and statistics. They make a huge dollar off the penalties for breaking mortgage terms early – often even more than mortgage interest. Statistically the average Albertan homeowner does so within 2 years. The most popular mortgage term is 5 year. Cause? A large fraction from couples who moved in and then bought together – who should not have been together in the first place.
That being said, I personally don’t have a particular opinion on it, as I approach it on a case by case basis. Each relationship is different. Sometimes it takes longer to warm up to certain people enough to share the same living space – while others much quicker. It also depends heavily on lifestyle. I spend 90%+ of my time out of the house, and am only home at night about half of the time. My testing period is whether the woman lasts when I have a significant stretch away from home (sometimes 1-2 months), or whether she can put up with my absurd schedules and eating habits. If she has the discipline to do so, then she’s a keeper. We’d have the confidence to last together in close quarters – where there is a lot longer list of ways to butt heads.
Some couples who get too accustomed to sleeping beside each other every night will have problems when one suddenly has to work out of town or be away for other reasons. The inconsistency kills relationships sometimes. Sometimes it’s worse than a couple being used to separated for say, 2 weeks at a time, and then having the 2 weeks afterwards together. I had an ex who in her words: “need to be laid everyday”. She grew too much of a liking of my physical presence, and warmed up to her ex in his Mom’s basement while I was away. Good Riddens… good learning experience however.